THE SAGA OF OUR PROPERTY DISPUTE

Messages from the Owners of Elysian Sanctuary Farm

A message from Belinda:

In recent weeks, it has been revealed to us that there are some rumors or information being shared regarding our relationship with Stillpointe Wellness Center, our neighbor, and its owner, Jan Rule. We have only hoped for peace, and never imagined that it would come to a time when we would have to defend ourselves, but my partner and I both feel that we owe our patrons and supportive community the opportunity to hear our voices and hopefully provide clarity on this situation.

First and foremost, we want to emphasize that we do and have always supported the healing and holistic vision of Stillpointe Wellness Center. This has not shifted even amid this challenge through which we are working. As our mission is also deeply rooted in healing for our community, it would not make sense for us to seek division from our neighbor, Stillpointe. For several years, we were actively involved in working with Jan as volunteers to promote Stillpointe and revitalize its mission to the community. This investment involved hours of our time, which we gladly gave in service. My husband helped maintain the property and performed handyman work. My duties of service included redesigning and maintaining the website, graphic design, managing social media, creating a weekly newsletter, organizing events and preparing spaces, and periodically helping to maintain custodial aspects of the center. In exchange for volunteered time, Jan and I had a verbal agreement that permitted me to be a part-time practitioner at Stillpointe a couple of times a month. In the early spring of 2023, I wrote Jan a lengthy, personal letter detailing my involvement and service as I was starting to receive conflicting information regarding my role and responsibilities. She then turned around and shared this personal letter with therapists within the center.

After requesting a meeting in March of 2023, we met with Jan and her business coach. At that time, the owner of Stillpointe dismissed us from being involved with little reason other than her wanting to reclaim power. These were the words she chose, which deeply confused us, as everything that we were doing was according to what she herself asked us to do. This all happened rather quickly and was a big blow to us at the time. My heart was broken, for the love I had for Jan and Stillpointe ran deep. Words were spoken by Jan and her business partner against our efforts, and their hearts were already turned against us. I attempted to communicate the amount of time and energy I was investing, which was blatantly dismissed, and they made it clear that nothing was open for discussion. They no longer wanted us to be involved. I was honestly shocked and shattered, and had never felt more hurt in my life. I am still working through this hurt. It was also made clear by Jan that any verbal agreements we had were broken. Jan then proceeded to offer me a contract/rental agreement to work at Stillpointe as a part-time practitioner, which I was willing to sign before being dismissed. However, since trust was broken, my spirit shattered, and I no longer felt safe working in the environment of Stillpointe, I respectfully declined. My husband and I still do not understand what we did wrong in that situation, as we worked from our hearts, but we held trust in God that there was a reason.

Kind and considerate, yet now distanced and intermittent, communication continued after our dismissal. It seemed like we were both moving forward, just in separate ways. However, seven months later, in October 2023, we received another shock. You can imagine our surprise when we received a letter from Jan’s lawyer that threatened the usage of our water (which was on a shared well at that point) unless we revoked rights to the parking lot that we purchased with the sale of the house. The letter stated that our water would be turned off in 30 days if we did not comply or communicate via a lawyer. This forced our hand to hire a lawyer in order to protect our family and property. Our lawyer explained to us that this was a “snatch and grab” attempt by force of threat. At that moment, we didn’t know how this would play out, and we felt stung and confused.

We have continued to be in communication (utilizing our lawyer) for the last two years with various lawyers that Jan has hired against us. Every single attempt that we have made to reasonably resolve this, with the guidance of legal counsel, has been met by firm opposition from Jan, along with accusations that we are causing her grief. In the Spring of 2024, God provided a way for us to afford our own well, and we were extremely grateful that His grace has been extended to us throughout this time. Nevertheless, negotiations tried to continue regarding our property. I want to be very clear here that we desired to share the parking lot spaces WITH Stillpointe, and our negotiations stated such. We honestly believe that we made every attempt to be reasonable and fair according to the value of the parking lot and the laws and commercial standards of St. Clair County. Jan rejected each proposal we had carefully crafted with our lawyer. We began hearing negative things she was sharing about us. This confused us further, as we have been very careful with our language regarding Jan and Stillpointe and have made it a necessity to never speak ill or gossip. How does speaking hate serve anyone? Even in our dealings with patrons at farmers markets and vendor events, we uphold respect towards Stillpointe and often still refer people to their services. In my heart, I believe that healing our minds, bodies, and spirits is central to building our community.

Continued negotiations regarding the property revealed no path forward. The force of all this aggression towards us, and with much prayer and further guidance from our lawyer, enabled the decision to set firmer boundaries with our property. Friends, we have honestly tried reason, and have continued to be met with disrespect and attempts from Jan to shame us. Any signage on the property that may be construed as negative is placed according to guidance set by our lawyer. And now, followers we once had are accusing us of hostility towards Stillpointe. I do not believe that protecting our family, including our children, and setting firmer boundaries for our property is considered “hostile.” This could not be further from the truth.

When we began hearing misinformation that was being spread about us through the community, we decided it was time for us to speak up. Despite our efforts to be professional, methodical, and reserved, it was clear that a smear campaign was initiated against us. Throughout this whole ordeal, we have sought professional counsel and guidance on how to navigate through this time and proceed forward. Through this counsel, it was revealed to us that the leadership of Stillpointe has exhibited signs of spiritual narcissism in both past and present relationships. This was not our personal assessment, but we were enlightened by others within the community. We have been strongly advised to establish both emotional and physical boundaries with our neighbor and property. If you visit the property, you may notice a fence that is now resting on our boundary lines. This fence is being thoughtfully built to protect our family and the financial assets of our business. Patrons of Elysian Sanctuary are still welcome to visit the farm stand and partake in sanctuary events, when they resume.

I have always believed that the things that are set in our paths are placed by divine order to help us grow and expand in personal growth. Through this challenge, I have chosen to be methodical, grounded, cautious with my words, and focus on honesty and grace. I have tried my best to keep genuine gentleness and compassion at my core, understanding that each person reacts according to the personal hurt they carry within themselves. However, being gentle and loving doesn’t mean that you allow people to take advantage of you. I have learned in my own healing journey that being spiritual and having grace towards others does not mean that we have to be a doormat for others. We cannot control the actions of others against us, and neither do we always get to choose how challenges play out. We simply choose to trust that things will work out in Divine timing.

We did not want this, choose this, or remotely imagine that we would have to be in a position in which to defend ourselves. Yet, here we are. Through all this, strangely enough, we have found peace. We are moving on. The garden is growing and the beauty of Spring is upon us. The most recent development through all this is Jan’s investment in the construction of a new driveway and parking area for Stillpointe. We are excited for her. This is a decision she made, and we offered the use of our property for her to have space to do so (which she also rejected). We have always and will continue to show support and respect towards Stillpointe and its healing vision. Building a fence between our properties is not disrespect; it is a healthy way for us to set boundaries so we can continue maintaining our beautiful property in harmony. We also believe that it will provide an intimate retreat area where Stillpointe patrons can experience more privacy and solitude. It is a decision that we feel all patrons of Elysian Sanctuary and Stillpointe will benefit from.

Although backlash from recent events is surfacing against us, we are staying strong in faith and grace, and placing our trust in God. We have no control over people’s thoughts or actions towards us. We cannot control what people in the community choose to believe. We can only continue to be authentic and share our truth. We aim to stay centered and gently focused on the mission that we feel we have been led into by God. We wish only peace and healing and love for our community.

At the end of these messages, I have included a short video that reflects an aspect of what we have been navigating through. This is not our video, but one I have found relevant through healing from narcissistic abuse. I hope this gives others the courage to find healing, as well.

A detailed message from Phil:

As many of you know, Belinda and I purchased the farmhouse property from Janice Rule, owner of Stillpointe Wellness Center, in September of 2020.  Before we purchased the property, we had helped Jan with the management of Stillpointe and the farmhouse property for several years.  We purchased the property with the intention of continuing to help Jan and Stillpointe while simultaneously developing a farm on our property. 

Our relationship with Jan and Stillpointe forever changed in early 2023.  We had a meeting with Jan and her business coach in late March/early April of 2023 where Jan outlined that we were no longer needed or wanted at Stillpointe, and that Jan was “reclaiming her power” going forward.  During the meeting, Jan repeatedly minimized all our efforts over the years and equated them as not being of benefit to her, Stillpointe, or the therapists who rented space at Stillpointe.  When we countered that we had been helping her and Stillpointe by doing what she had asked us to do, her response was that she was winding down and none of the massage therapists, estheticians, or people who rented space from Stillpointe were trying to expand their businesses or grow their clientele, and that we were never asked to do the things we were doing for the property.    

While we were extremely hurt by Jan’s words and actions that day, we respected Jan’s decision to dismiss us and removed all our business materials from Stillpointe, as well as all of Belinda’s work items.  From that point on, we treated our interactions with Jan as business or professional instead of based on a relationship.

The parking lot that is north of Stillpointe is on our property, and there was no written agreement in place between us and Jan or Stillpointe.  Since Jan had requested that we disengage from the operation of Stillpointe, we needed objective boundaries for continued use of our property or a path forward for Jan to have her own parking lot for Stillpointe.  Since Jan requested that we stop supporting Stillpointe’s operation, we requested a written agreement from Jan for her and Stillpointe’s continued use of our property.  We also provided several proposals to either trade or sell part of our property to her in exchange for land north of the farmhouse property boundary.  There were also several proposals that would have provided Jan with an easement over our property.  All of our proposals would be rejected by Jan. 

This was also around the same time, May 2023, where I brought up getting a shared water well agreement with Jan.  Sometime before 2011, Jan had run a water line from Stillpointe’s water well to the farmhouse to provide water.  When we purchased the home in 2020, the appraiser did not identify that the property received its water from a shared well, so no shared-well agreement was put in place.  Jan responded to our shared-well agreement request by stating that we had “agreed” to get our own well within three years when we purchased the property from her.  When I asked when this “agreement” was made, since Belinda and I had no memory of this ever happening, Jan responded, “funny you should ask…we were leaving the kitchen.”  Jan told us we had until Dec of 2023 to disconnect from her well.  I then proposed that we create an agreement where Jan could continue using the parking lot for as long as we used water from the well.  To this Jan responded, “Not necessary, I am finding parking on my property.” 

We began working towards getting our own well and quickly discovered it was a monumental challenge. There is currently a limited number of well drillers in our area and they are booked months in advance.  The cost is also between $28,000 and $30,000 to drill a well, drop a pump, and run the water line to the house.  We finally got on the well drillers schedule and the estimated drill date was early 2024.  We contacted Jan in July of 2023 with the updated timeframe, and she agreed on 3 August 2023 to allow us to use the water until May of 2024.

Fast forward to October 16, 2023.  That day in our mail delivery was a certified letter from Westminster Legal Group, John Mark Hongs, Esq., out of St Louis.  The letter started off by Mr. Hongs stating he represented Ms. Janice Rule and Stillpointe Wellness Center and that all communication and correspondence regarding the parking lot was to be directed to him.  The letter detailed that we had “demanded” land from Jan in exchange for her and Stillpointe to continue using the parking lot.  The letter stated that “Although a portion or all of the parking lot exists within the boundaries of your property, there was no intention to authorize you to keep my clients or their guests from entering, exiting, using and maintaining the parking lot…”  On the second page of the letter was the following statement in all caps and bold:

IF YOU WISH TO RESOLVE THIS MATTER WITHOUT A LAWSUIT YOU MUST CONTACT ME ON OR BEFORE 5PM CENTRAL ON THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2023

The letter concluded with stating we had 30 days to sign over the parking lot to Jan via the prepared, permanent easement or disconnect from the water well. 

We were shocked.  We had been working in good faith and with what we thought was open communication with Jan only to be blindsided by a certified letter from an attorney representing her.  We scrambled to find an attorney to represent our interests in the case.  It felt like our lives were placed on hold as we had to focus entirely on this matter.  We were physically ill from the stress created by this situation.

We were able to find an attorney to represent our interests in this matter and have followed Jan’s desire to route all communication through her attorneys.  The attorneys began communicating back and forth about the land issue.  Initially, the communication seemed to be constructive.  As the time moved on, the back-and-forth proposals seemed to become more and more repetitive, and we were receiving similar proposals as to the ones Belinda and I had rejected before Jan had hired an attorney.    

We were finally able to have our own water well drilled in April of 2024 at a cost of just under $30,000.  We notified Jan’s attorney that we were no longer using her well once our water well was connected to the house.

There were several additional rounds of back-and-forth negotiations with possible land exchanges, all of which were rejected.  Every proposal that Jan, her surrogates, or her attorneys proposed to us was a near-equal land area swap.  Jan wanted a paved, improved surface area from us; in exchange, she offered bare, unimproved land of equal area.  After we reviewed the cost to replace asphalt in our area, we provided that information to Jan to help her understand the value of the improvements.  Jan refused any land exchange that considered the value of the parking lot she was requesting.  Belinda and I had consulted with multiple local advisors before we made decisions regarding the property to ensure that we were being fair in our proposals.

We write this letter after being in this challenging situation for over two years, because the situation has changed.  People have been reaching out to us asking us why we are being “hostile” to Jan.  Let us be crystal clear:  We had no desire to involve lawyers for each party or to have our relationship with Jan be tossed to the wayside by Jan.  We have only been fair and honest in this situation.  Jan dismissed us from Stillpointe in early 2023 and then demanded we only speak to her through her attorney in late 2023.  We have been respectful of her requests throughout this whole process.  In every negotiation for the parking lot, Jan has refused to make any offer that considers the value of the improvements.  We purchased the land from Jan and her initial attorney’s demand was for us to give it back to her in the form of a permanent easement or face a lawsuit.  We have made many offers to Jan to either have an easement over our property, purchase the parking lot from us, or have a land trade.  Every offer we have made has been rejected or ignored by Jan.    

Because of the situation created by Jan, we have been forced to establish more firm boundaries.  Prior to Jan dismissing us in early 2023, we enjoyed an open and synergistic relationship.  We always provided more to the relationship than we took and never wanted to be inconsiderate neighbors.  That relationship was discarded by Jan.

Since Jan dismissed us, we have had to make fundamental changes to the property for our safety.  After we had the property surveyed in May of 2023, we installed a small section of fence a few feet off the property boundary as a marker.  We were advised by our attorney to install signs directing the Stillpointe customers and massage therapists that the parking lot was private property.  Jan has refused to identify to her customers that she does not own the parking lot, and her customers and visitors have continued to use our property since October 2023 when Jan hired her first attorney. 

 In late February 2025, I was forced to call the Sheriff’s office because of an irate guest of Jan’s who was verbally abusing me on our property.  I politely responded to this individual that he was on my property and he needed to leave.  He was aggressive, hostile, swearing with angry language, and I was concerned for the safety of my family.  As he was on our property, I allowed the local police to handle the situation.   

In late February 2025, Jan finally acknowledged in a letter that the parking lot is our property and that she had started the process of getting her own driveway installed.  Jan then wrote another letter in early April, attempting to shame and guilt us into signing over the parking lot to her.  In late April, Phil received an email from Jan that our lawyer interpreted as an extortion attempt from Jan and we had to formally notify Jan to cease all direct communication with us.  We had respected Jan’s request to communicate through our attorney to her attorney, but then Jan was attempting to communicate directly with us with ever increasingly hostile language.  

The drive way for Stillpointe was completed a few days ago, and we are in the process of completing our privacy fence to contain our animals and mark the property boundaries.  We wish Jan and Stillpointe Wellness Center success as we continue on our separate paths as requested by Jan.       

We have been patient in this whole process and have attempted to be respectful to Jan, the massage therapists, and the customers of Stillpointe despite how we have been treated in return.  We have longed for peace to return to this space after Jan disregarded our friendship and efforts in early 2023.  We have been forced to reprioritize our energy throughout the past few years in order to sustain our healing vision and progress forward.